Even though they strung me along for nearly six months I was willing to forgive and forget since they were willing to give me a refund; in the last couple weeks I got a voicemail from William who told me that he was seeking authorization from me to put the money back on my credit card, and if not he’d send out a check. I called back to see what was up with that, and I was told by Tuscekia that I would not be receiving a refund because the phone was received late and because it was in poor condition. WTF!? I thought that late phone thing was a dead horse and we’d cleared it out after being told several times that it was not a problem. And what’s this about poor condition - I’d never been told that before.

So I dug a little deeper, and asked for the supervisor, who was Josh. Josh told me that he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do. He explained that the Fulfillment Center determines the condition and arrival date of returned merchandise and that it was they who declared it late and in poor condition. He further explained that they do this as soon as the phone arrives, which by my count is December 13 but by their reckoning is March 17. “So”, I asked, “if the phone’s condition was marked in your system since March 17th then why has everyone I’ve talked to since then said nothing about the phone’s condition being an issue and that I should eventually receive a refund?” All he had to say for himself was that he was sorry for the misinformation, but there was nothing he could do. I told him that I returned the phone in perfect condition, and even mentioned that I left the little plastic thing that covered the screen so it wouldn’t get scratched - and of that I have proof. He suggested I follow up with FedEx since, by assuming that both Helio and me are right, FedEx - the only other party involved - must be wrong.

So I asked FedEx.com for the information about the shipment, and was told again that it was received on December 13th. Not only that, but they let me download the proof of delivery in PDF complete with the name and signature of the person who accepted the package! FedEx++, what a refreshingly well-run business compared to Helio. I didn’t even have to talk to anyone or spend more than two minutes and I had all the information I wanted, save for some advice on how to deal with Helio.

What now? Well Josh suggested that I call them back if I got the information from FedEx, so that’s what I’ll do. If they still refuse then I’m just glad that the internet and law suits exist for venting and financial recourse, respectively.

UPDATE: I called back and got Bern, who was helpful and sympathetic. He spoke with a 2nd tier rep, keeping me on hold for the most part. He said that he recognized that I was in the right and that he would work the the other rep to get my refund approved, but that it’d need 3rd tier approval before it’d be signed off on (whatever that means). He then said the words I’ve come to know well: “It’ll take a few weeks to process, not to exceed 59 days.” Yeah, well.. no offense, but we’re at 170 days here, and tacking on yet another 59 days puts it up to 229, or about seven and a half months. Not to mention that a the “not to exceed 59 days” has not meant shit so far, and I somehow doubt it will in the future either.

I don’t doubt that some of the individual customer service reps I’ve spoken to do want to help, but I’m beginning to feel like Helio has a corporate policy of stalling refunds for as long as possible in hopes that the customer will just give up.