Local Insanity

Having recently dealt with Apple in buying the iPhone and having to continually deal with Helio to give me my money back, I thought I’d compare and contrast the experiences I’ve had with them.

Helio hasn’t refunded the money they owe me when I’ve been asking for it for the last nine months. Apple gave me back $100 that they didn’t even owe me, and the refund took about two minutes.

Helio’s customer service representatives are either dumb, misinformed, or powerless to help when confronted with a problem. Apple’s customer service representatives are knowledgeable, intelligent, and generally do the right thing (such as when they completely overhauled my old PowerBook when I sent it in for the final repair).

Helio and Apple both try to appeal to the hip and young crowd, but Helio does it with slogans and cute phrases over the phone, such as “How can we make your day better?” and “If you’re holding [on the phone], you must not be happy.” Apple does it with superior design, superior service, and simplicity.

I spent about an hour on the phone today with Helio, today being about a day later than they said I should have my refund. Since I last blogged about it they pushed it off in August, saying that the approval process should take no more than two weeks from that date, pushed it off again at the end of August, and now pushed it off again in mid-September. Not only that, but they’re now saying 59 business days, not just days. The last person I spoke to said that I could expect the refund 59 business days from today. This is simply amazing. This company has so much contempt for their customers, it is unbelievable. They now tell me that I should wait until December 10th to receive the refund, or over a whole year since I cancelled my account.

While cell phone carriers may suck in general, Helio raises the bar on horrible so much that it’s hard to compete with without going out of business (which I predict Helio will do within a year). Anyone interested in getting a class-action suit together?

Even though they strung me along for nearly six months I was willing to forgive and forget since they were willing to give me a refund; in the last couple weeks I got a voicemail from William who told me that he was seeking authorization from me to put the money back on my credit card, and if not he’d send out a check. I called back to see what was up with that, and I was told by Tuscekia that I would not be receiving a refund because the phone was received late and because it was in poor condition. WTF!? I thought that late phone thing was a dead horse and we’d cleared it out after being told several times that it was not a problem. And what’s this about poor condition - I’d never been told that before.

So I dug a little deeper, and asked for the supervisor, who was Josh. Josh told me that he was sorry, but there was nothing he could do. He explained that the Fulfillment Center determines the condition and arrival date of returned merchandise and that it was they who declared it late and in poor condition. He further explained that they do this as soon as the phone arrives, which by my count is December 13 but by their reckoning is March 17. “So”, I asked, “if the phone’s condition was marked in your system since March 17th then why has everyone I’ve talked to since then said nothing about the phone’s condition being an issue and that I should eventually receive a refund?” All he had to say for himself was that he was sorry for the misinformation, but there was nothing he could do. I told him that I returned the phone in perfect condition, and even mentioned that I left the little plastic thing that covered the screen so it wouldn’t get scratched - and of that I have proof. He suggested I follow up with FedEx since, by assuming that both Helio and me are right, FedEx - the only other party involved - must be wrong.

So I asked FedEx.com for the information about the shipment, and was told again that it was received on December 13th. Not only that, but they let me download the proof of delivery in PDF complete with the name and signature of the person who accepted the package! FedEx++, what a refreshingly well-run business compared to Helio. I didn’t even have to talk to anyone or spend more than two minutes and I had all the information I wanted, save for some advice on how to deal with Helio.

What now? Well Josh suggested that I call them back if I got the information from FedEx, so that’s what I’ll do. If they still refuse then I’m just glad that the internet and law suits exist for venting and financial recourse, respectively.

UPDATE: I called back and got Bern, who was helpful and sympathetic. He spoke with a 2nd tier rep, keeping me on hold for the most part. He said that he recognized that I was in the right and that he would work the the other rep to get my refund approved, but that it’d need 3rd tier approval before it’d be signed off on (whatever that means). He then said the words I’ve come to know well: “It’ll take a few weeks to process, not to exceed 59 days.” Yeah, well.. no offense, but we’re at 170 days here, and tacking on yet another 59 days puts it up to 229, or about seven and a half months. Not to mention that a the “not to exceed 59 days” has not meant shit so far, and I somehow doubt it will in the future either.

I don’t doubt that some of the individual customer service reps I’ve spoken to do want to help, but I’m beginning to feel like Helio has a corporate policy of stalling refunds for as long as possible in hopes that the customer will just give up.

Today I called Helio again, probably not for the last time, trying to ascertain whether the information I had (e.g. that they received the device on March 17th and that I should receive a refund no later than May 16th) was correct. The woman I spoke to, Jazel (48706), said that the date they received the device was indeed March 17th, but that no request for a credit had been put in. WTF!?! I HATE you Helio. Do the right thing for once!

She told me that she put in a request to refund $271.99 to my credit card (what do you guys need that 1 cent for?) and that now I’d have to wait yet another 59 days for the refund, which puts the last possible day at June 4th, or 6 months after I canceled my account. This has spurred me to think of a site that helps people get their money back from companies.

I’m going to call back in two weeks — we’ll see if I get a different story.

Zach didn’t call me back. WTF Helio?! I called them back, talked to Jerry (48627) and was told that they received the unit on March 17th!! Okay, now really WTF?! I sent it in December. As usual, they sent me an email asking if I’d like to fill out a survey afterwards. I did, and left this in the freeform comment section:

I’m almost at the point of deciding that Helio won’t voluntarily refund my money - I don’t want to pursue legal action, but I will if I don’t get a refund soon. I’ve been waiting for almost four months and been getting the runaround from customer service.

Oh, and to add insult to injury:

Helio has this policy they call the “30 Day Happiness Guarantee”, which is basically that if you’re not satisfied for whatever reason, you can cancel your service within the first 30 days, paying only the pro-rated service you’ve used. Sounded good, and the Drift had the potential to be a pretty good phone, so I tried it.

After about 11 days I decided that the service wasn’t for me, so I bid them a fond farewell — or so I thought. That was December 12th that I cancelled my account, and in a few days it’ll be 100 days that they were supposed to have sent me a refund. For reference, their official policy is that refunds should take a few weeks, not to exceed 59 days. Well, we’re way past 59 days here, and we’ve also reached the end of my patience.

After calling about five times they created an escalation for my problem and assigned a guy, Zach, to the case — this was about two weeks ago. Zach was friendly and seemed intelligent. He called me back within the 72 hours he said he would, and promised to keep me updated as to the status, and manner, of the refund. I haven’t heard from him since. I called back this morning to figure out what was going on only to be told that they were waiting on the finance department to do its thing and that Zach would call me back within 24-72 hours. Where have I heard that befo… oh yeah! It’s the same fucking thing they told me a few weeks ago!

So if you’re considering trying out a Helio, be sure you do your homework first — it’s a long commitment whether you keep the service or drop it. Does anyone know if there’s some sort of legal requirement for a company to give a refund within a particular timeframe?